Tuesday, May 10, 2016

What Motivates Me

I have always been motivated by those around me. Sometimes that meant that I didn't do a whole lot because the people around me simply drained my energy rather then refill my energy level. Making things has always been a basic principle of who I am and what I do. Some would say that what you do is not who you are, well that may be true for them. For me, creating is a vital area of fulfillment that must be there, sometimes it comes out really really cool. And sometimes it comes out quite wonky, no matter how it comes out, it is the journey I take that is important to me.

I gave birth to a child 24 years ago today, and in creating that child there was a great deal I did not know nor did I understand. However, I look at the young man today and I know that not only did I help to create that but he also took over the creation and made it uniquely him. My son was the first person who I truly understood that I was fully capable of loving someone, that the emotions and feelings that I felt around him were special and unique and that it was that kind of love that I sought in a partner for life. And that means that sometimes the person your with at the time may not be the one you will stay with for the rest of your life, my son's father was not to be my life mate even though he was the father of both of my children. He and I parted ways, but I truly got the best of him with my two kids and though he was only a part of their lives for a short time he still helped to also create them and add to who they are today.

Chris at less than a year
Christopher at 5 or 6

Chris at 6 or 7

Chris when he turned 5 with his cousin J
Chris today
Christopher you are and always will be that part of me that no matter how hard it is to understand, no matter how hard it is contain, no matter how many times I say WHATTT? You are my miracle child, the first real glimmer of understanding that life is more then just this moment it is a combinations of moments, it is trial and error, it is no matter what not giving up. To you son I give you the world to conquer and make your own. For you are one of my creations that just keeps giving and I would not wish to change that. I love you, son and always will.